Have you ever heard the saying, "what you can't feel, you cant heal?"
As a yoga teacher, I have studied the Tantrikas in great depth (before you freak out, the Tantrikas are about so much more than sex...trust me!), and have come to realize that this saying is really just an extension of basic Tantric beliefs. At the core of tantra, it is said that sensuality is the doorway to liberation. Sensuality meaning, 'to experience sensation or feeling--whether positive or negative.'
Ok, I'm about to get bold here. Learning about the Tantrikas has led me to ditch "positive thinking" almost altogether....
When I first heard about positive thinking several years ago, I thought it was such a cool concept and was eager to start using it. At the time, it seemed totally logical that if you thought enough good thoughts throughout your day, you would feel better. Similarly, it seemed to make sense that even if you were going through something really difficult, thinking positively about a dark situation would make your experience more pleasant.
While positive thinking might sound good in theory and might be useful at times/in small doses, I believe it can quickly become more toxic than it is helpful. Rather than allowing us to heal, positive thinking gives us permission to numb ourselves, in order to 'stay positive.' In other words, the positive thoughts and affirmations we use really just distract us from the pain we actually feel.
So what does this really mean? What's so bad about distracting ourselves from our pain? Going back to the saying in the first line, when we don't hold space for our sensuality (a.k.a. feeling our emotions) our difficult/painful emotions stay STUCK in our bodies and become TOXIC! This is where positive thinking begins to hurt us more than it helps us.
What to do instead of drowning your emotions in repetitive positive thoughts:
-Hold space for yourself. Get quiet and allow yourself to feel your breath, body, and emotions. Don't be afraid of the painful, difficult, or overwhelming emotions. Often just witnessing them for a few moments will be enough to start to release them!
-If you still want to use positive affirmations, there is a time and place for them.The key to using positive affirmations effectively is to first heal the emotional pain and/or the limiting beliefs from your subconscious mind. With a clear mind and free-flowing emotions, positive affirmations will work powerfully for you! The BEST technique for this is EFT tapping. Search on Youtube for guided tapping tutorials and you'll be amazed at how powerful it is!
What the hell this means for your life & business:
-Positive thinking can actually allow us to make excuses for ourselves. If we are feeling bad about where we are in our life or business, positive thinking might tempt us to say "well at least I have________ even though I haven't made progress on my dreams," or "at least I have a job even thought I hate it." If you want to use positive thinking effectively, use them to empower yourself rather than sabotage yourself. What expansive statements could you tell yourself about your potential? About your purpose? About the value of your business?
Where do you stand on positive thinking? Have you used it? Are you a fan of it? Do you see how it's possible for positive thinking to become toxic?
Ok girl, sending all my love!
Kristen XO
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